a new space...

It has been so long since I've written regularly that I hardly know how to begin. There was a time that I spilled my thoughts onto paper (or the internet) on an almost daily basis, so at a certain point it felt as if sharing my stories in written form were second nature. Even as my life became busier and more complicated, I would find myself writing paragraphs in my head—ones that never made it into a notebook or onto a screen. I'd choose the perfect words, switch up the paragraphs, edit my thoughts into written form, and think it over in my head until it sounded just right. I did this for years, actually.

I've lost a lot of that ability—to easily translate my thoughts into well-crafted paragraphs—and I miss it. I try not to think too much about the gap in between the years I spent purposely documenting my life and where I am now. If I think too hard about it, I begin to wallow in mom-guilt about never having written my third daughter's birth story (while her two older sisters have many hundreds of words written about theirs), or mourn the loss of memories that I would have been able to retain, had I taken the time to write them down.

However, I also don't regret stepping away from certain aspects of the internet, and I think that overall I'm grateful that I didn't carry on and reach a point where my livelihood depended on my social media presence—or, similarly, that I was sharing my life and stories (and those of my children) in a way that made me document every detail of our lives for the consumption of others. As my daughters grew older (and, let's be honest, the internet became a less charming place than it was a dozen years ago) I did feel compelled to let it go.

This year, I'm experiencing another bit of a give-and-take…I'm giving up my last bit of social media (a private IG account) for the entire year, but I'm taking on this new space that feels like something I'm a bit more in control of. I'm doing it for the creative outlet (writing, photography, coding, and so on) but also because I do like having some record of my days, weeks, and months—and I miss the long-form style of blog posts as opposed to limited IG captions. And when it comes down to it, I miss when the internet was about things that you had to pore over…wordy emails from friends, lengthy blog posts from your favorite writers. I wonder if there is ever a way to recapture that, especially as social media has taken over everything and our attention spans (including my own) have become embarrassingly short.

But I digress.

In any case, I wanted to write something short and sweet to reintroduce myself to the blogosphere (I'm not sure if that's an actual thing anymore, but humor me) and say hello. How have you been the last two years?